"Coup de Dwight"

 

ADAPTING TO UNEXPECTED CIRCUMSTANCES

I learned my company could go bankrupt, causing every employee to lose their jobs. This revelation rocked me to the core - the thought of Jim Halpert getting laid off before I have a chance to get him fired was simply devastating. Imagine how disappointed The Bride would've felt if Bill had been killed by old age before she got the chance to use the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Like The Bride, retribution is a personal thing for me. I need to see this through for my own personal fulfillment and having some faceless corporation do my dirty work for me is about as satisfying as winning an RC car race with a car that you didn't build, customize, and trick out yourself. So in order to be the one to get Jim fired, I'm going to have to adapt my diabolical plan to these new circumstances.

To ensure Jim gets fired before the company goes bankrupt, I have to readjust my entire timeline and that means setting aside some of the cool little finishing touches I had planned. I suppose I can live without destroying his marriage and completely humiliating him amongst all of his friends and family, but it's not an easy pill to swallow. And it looks like I'm going to have to make other sacrifices too; Mose constructed a rudimentary effigy of Jim that we're going to burn to honor the god of revenge and "fire" ourselves up. Hopefully by simplifying my plan and rededicating myself to the cause, I'll be able to avoid the hassle of watching Jim get laid off, then secretly helping him get a new job, then secretly helping him get promoted unjustly, then getting myself a job at that same company, just so I can finally get him sacked the way I've always dreamed.